


Snow white and the seven dwarfs: Xena and the thief, demi God, 2 blondies, and 3 totally lost Gods! And *wink wink* prince charming!!!!!!

by bornforwar_archivist



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 03:25:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11050314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By HannahThe title says it all.





	Snow white and the seven dwarfs: Xena and the thief, demi God, 2 blondies, and 3 totally lost Gods! And *wink wink* prince charming!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: Like I’ve said b4 I don’t own ‘em if I did I be doin a lot naughtier things than dis lol. Ne ways 
> 
> Violence/sex/subtext: yes wen discord ‘n’ xena’s around there will be violence, maybe depends, and I h8 gabby hehe u should see wat im doin to her this time hehe its too funny! 
> 
> Summery: the title says it all apart from… ARES 'N' XENA 4EVA! 
> 
> Feed back: yes plz
> 
> Dedications: Rite this is for my best mate ever Elenka whose little cousin died of cancer, I’ll always be here for u. And Laura Murraaay (lol), Katie, and Hoggy who all listen to me yap on bout xena and ares on msn and at skool thanx guyz!!!! And for Laura (not murraaay) who sent me a nice E-mail ‘bout my first fanfic so thanx and titanic will be here soon… 
> 
> So that’s enough yappin here it goes…

To set the scene we’re on Olympus The great god of medicine, prophecy, and archery Apollo is charging down the hall towards to halls of Love. He waves his hand and the doors swing open to revel pink, pink and yes more pink.   
  
Apollo just rolled his eyes at it, typical of the goddess of Love.   
  
Apollo: APHRODITE!!!!! WAKE UP NOW!   
  
Dite: Hey no need to shout bro you’ll turn out like Ares!   
  
Apollo: No thank you, anyway I need to call in that favour.   
  
Dite: Already?????   
  
Apollo: YES   
  
Dite was now sat up in her goddess sized pink bed; she snapped her fingers and appeared dressed in her usual outfit.   
  
Dite: So watcha need bro?   
  
Apollo: Well I’m putting on a play for dad and a load of important people, but because of you and your little love spells I have no cast.   
  
Dite: Well they were a miserable bunch anyways!   
  
Apollo: They were actors wat do you expect!!!!   
  
Dite: Calm down, wat do you want me to do?   
  
Apollo: Get me a cast in 2 hours.   
  
Dite: 2 hours? That’s not long enough.   
  
Apollo: Not my problem, bye sis.   
  
Apollo vanishes in a cloud of red smoke leaving Dite with a list of instructions.   
  
Dite: GREAT I think I’m gonna need reinforcements. CUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Cupid appears in a shower of gold glitter…   
  
Cupid: hey mum.   
  
Dite: nice touch with the glitter.   
  
Cupid: thanks you wanted something?   
  
Dite: Oh yeah (handing him the paper) read this   
  
Cupid: (mumbling) blah blah 7 dwarfs, princess blah blah hmm sounds good. (Thinks about it) Mum did you write this (shocked)   
  
Dite: No stupid, it's Apollo, he needs me to get him a cast in 2 hours please Cupid I need your help.   
  
Cupid: No count me out the last time I got caught in one of your schemes I nearly lost a wing.   
  
Dite: (tries not to laugh) Cupid you’re so sensitive, besides you owe me I looked after Bliss all week!   
  
Cupid: fine you got me, so who did you have in mind?   
  
Dite: Well……… (Whispers in his ear)   
  
Cupid: (Can’t stop laughing) well I’ll buy a ticket to see that!   
  
Dite: (smiling) c'mon lets go get us a … what are they called again (snapping fingers)   
  
Cupid: A cast mum!   
  
Dite: Oh a cast, cool lets go   
  


TWO HOURS LATER…

  
  
We’re in the main hall of Olympus, where there is a demi god, 2 blondies and 3 very confused gods, a queen of the gods and a warrior princess and a war god eyeing each other up.   
  
Xena: (looking Ares up and down) Like I was saying why in tarturus are we here?   
  
Dite: Xena your all here 'cause Apollo’s putting on a play and he needs a cast please say you’ll all do it pleassssseeee (fluttering eyelashes time)   
  
Gabby: A play? Which one?   
  
Dite: (clearing throat) Snow white and the seven dwarfs. There were whispers around the room, Hercules was praying he’d be prince charming, and not a dwarf and Iolaus was trying not to laugh.   
  
Dite: Right people here are your scripts your lines etc are highlighted for you.   
  
Cupid runs around handing out scripts to everyone.   
  
Ares walks up to Xena   
  
Ares: So what part in this lame play did you get?   
  
Xena points at the highlighted section on her script. And growls.   
  
Xena: Snow white.   
  
Ares: (Grinning that famous grin) maybe this play ain’t so lame   
  
Xena: Why? What did you got?   
  
Ares: Prince charming   
  
Xena: (whispering in his ear) Sounds fun.   
  
Across the other side of the room they are moans from Hades, Hephaestus and Hermes who really don’t want to be here.   
  
Iolaus and Gabby are sat on the floor laughing because if they didn’t laugh then they’d cry and Xena and Herc would sack them if they cryed… Hercules was passed out on the floor.   
  
Just then a red cloud of smoke informed us that Apollo was here.   
  
Apollo: Dite you got them all then.   
  
Dite: I told you before do 1 person a favour and the whole of Olympus owes you.   
  
Apollo: nice motto so lets go through the list…   
Princess- Xena   
Check   
Prince charming- Ares   
Check   
  
Herc: Ares as prince charming! Who decided that?   
  
Everyone gives him a cold look.   
  
Herc: (mumbling) I bet it was Hera   
  
Apollo: Now where were we, before I was rudely interrupted (glaring at Herc)   
  
Dite: Prince charming   
  
Apollo: Oh yeah   
Prince charming- Ares   
We already did this!   
Fine Evil Stepmother   
Oh crap I forgot!   
A black ray of light revealed the Queen of the Gods Hera   
  
Hera: I’ll do it (giving Herc the evil eye then throwing a lightening ball at him.   
  
Herc dodged it just in time.   
  
Hera: Opps it slipped.   
  
Xena: (whispering to Ares) I like your mother.   
  
Hera turns and smiles at Xena.   
  
Hera: Thank you dear, so what am I doing   
  
Apollo hands her the script   
  
Hera: Fine, well carry on then…   
  
Oh yeah um Evil Stepmother- Hera   
(Getting bored) check   
  
Hera just shook her head Apollo was such a disappointment whenever she was around he almost wet himself… and I’m his mother she thought, he’s not like my Ares now he could kill someone just by looking at them now that was something to be proud of.   
  
Ok Seven Dwarfs   
Doc- Iolaus   
Check   
Happy- Gabby   
(Giggling) Check   
  
Gabby: WHAT!   
  
Everyone: Shut up blondie!   
  
Grumpy- Herc   
  
Everyone starts laughing   
  
Check   
  
Ares is stood behind Xena   
  
Ares: This is gonna be fun.   
  
Xena: Speaking of fun, you wanna have some fun in your room?   
  
Ares: Sure thing babe (whacking her on the arse)   
  
Ares and Xena disappear from the room (we all know where they’ve gone * wink wink)   
  
  
  
Apollo: Where are Ares and Xena gone?   
  
Dite: Ares just left with his hand on Xena’s bottom, it’s love.   
  
Apollo: So that’s why you put them together in the play.   
  
Dite: All part of the plan bro.   
  
Apollo just laughed at this, the goddess of Love doing her ‘thing’.   
  
Apollo: Lets continue   
Happy- Autolycus   
Hey where is…   
  
Aphrodite was cut of by the sound of alarms ringing and lights flashing.   
  
Apollo look at Dite and said… Apollo: Typical trying to steal the treasure already!   
  
Dite: WHAT DID YOU SAY?   
  
Apollo: I SAID… (Now realising that he’s a god stops the alarms)   
  
Dite: That’s better. What did you say?   
  
Apollo: I was saying that. Oh never…   
  
Apollo was cut off by a thief leaping through the air and landing right next to him.   
  
Auto: good security system you got here.   
  
Apollo: well it is Olympus.   
  
Auto: that would explain the 3-headed dog.   
  
Hermes getting bored of being quiet decided to speak. Hermes: So you met Herc then.   
  
Herc: Hermes Autolycus has known me for years.   
  
Hermes: not you the 3 headed dog stupid.   
  
Herc: you lot named a 3-headed dog after me!!!   
  
Hermes: actually Ares named it Herc hey it is his dog. Herc marches off in a strop.   
  


To Be Continued


End file.
